i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
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I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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