Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
time to smoke my breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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