I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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