He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize