i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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