who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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