when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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