I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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