yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize