Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
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Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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