he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
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