i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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