Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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