STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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