my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize