Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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