To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize