After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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