Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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