and next time when you feel me up, do it right
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize