I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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