You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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