If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
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