i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize