just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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