Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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