Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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