We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize