I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize