Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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