pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize