So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize