East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize