this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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