my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
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