It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
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Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
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Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
We smell like vodka and hangover
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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