I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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