All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
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We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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