dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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