Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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