your room smells of hookers.
And success
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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