i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize