A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
it glows. i had to have it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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