As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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