Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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