I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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