Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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