Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much

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(214): The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much http://tfl.nu/5lxi

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(714): View more from California

found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.

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(714): found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner. http://tfl.nu/5d6x

Replies (42) Good night (843) Bad night (14667)
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(206): View more from Washington

Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.

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(206): Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability. http://tfl.nu/ef1b

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(334): View more from Alabama

The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.

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(334): The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning. http://tfl.nu/m75t

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Haha, bad night?

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(617): guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS. (508): Haha, bad night? http://tfl.nu/huzs

Replies (144) Good night (1254) Bad night (16554)
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(206): View more from Washington

My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.

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(206): My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'. http://tfl.nu/39kt

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(440): View more from Ohio

vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?

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(440): vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night? http://tfl.nu/3xi4

Replies (10) Good night (874) Bad night (2555)
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(716): View more from New York

It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.

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(716): It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point. http://tfl.nu/9jn6

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(928): View more from Arizona

Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture

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(928): Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture http://tfl.nu/vg21

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(402): View more from Nebraska

I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?

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(402): I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do? http://tfl.nu/fl2n

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(660): View more from Missouri

The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment

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(660): The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment http://tfl.nu/9skg

Replies (5) Good night (948) Bad night (396)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr

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(505): This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr http://tfl.nu/vuni

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"

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(502): Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights" http://tfl.nu/0e71

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(240): View more from Maryland

Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?

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(240): Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished? http://tfl.nu/q6tp

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(613): View more from Ontario

Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?

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(613): Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me? http://tfl.nu/ozdm

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