What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize