he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
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He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
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My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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